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My Memoir “Expecting Sunshine”

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have written a book. It is one of my greatest passions and I would like to tell you a little about it.

 

On a side note I am presently editing the book, literally as this post flies into your virtual mailbox so to speak, I am scratching out lines, clarifying ideas and biting my nails to hone this work into the best it can possibly be.

 

I began writing “Expecting Sunshine” when I was pregnant with my now year old son Eden. Eden’s older brother died in my arms at birth from a cardiac tumor. Life was impossibly flawed from that moment on. When I became pregnant with Eden, after a difficult time I call my “Year of Distraction,” I realized I must deal with my grief before my next child arrived.

 

“Expecting Sunshine” is about the 40 weeks of pregnancy leading up to Eden’s birth. It shows me at my lowest and ugliest, struggling to let go of one child while my stomach grows with another. “Expecting Sunshine” is an ode to loss, a goodbye to innocence and a picture of the practical struggle of one woman learning to hope and believe again.

 

My goal is to expose my experience and the paths I traveled to find healing after loss. It has been a nightmare but in the end, love is worth it all and my sons, Zachary and Eden, and my daughter Hannah have taught me so much. If I could change my circumstances, I would without a second thought. Of course I can’t, so instead I have labored at grief and “Expecting Sunshine” is my story.

 

As I am new to the publishing game, I am still working out the details in the concrete matter of ‘how will I get my book into your hands,’ but I’m not worried. It will happen when the timing is right.

 

I am extremely passionate about helping others who have lost a child. If that is you, please connect. I’d love to hear from you. If you would like to read “Expecting Sunshine” please let me know, send me your contact info, and I will keep you updated.  Until then, you can read more about my experience on my blog Wanted, Chosen, Planned – Life after the Loss of a Child. 

How does a Writer Prepare for Her MFA?

The time clock marking my first day at Lesley University is counting down, quickly, – but technically I’m already a Masters of Fine Art student with the work load that must be checked off before day one of the first residency. I’ve got books to read and nearly a hundred pages of supplementary material to cover as well. I need to prep my writing for the hands on workshops. Not to mention reading and providing feedback on my peer’s writing…

I can picture a select few of my friends recoiling at all this reading, but hey, that’s why I applied for my MFA; I’m a bookworm and a passionate writer. What some may think of as literary torture, I relish with girlish delight.

Okay, okay. It is not all fun and games. I’ve got to put in some serious leg work and sweat it to prepare everything on time. Still, there are some things in life that give you goose bumps and you just know, deep in the core of your chest, that these are the moments that matter and will be magic in the end. This is the time that matters, right now.

 

Besides the assigned readings and travel logistics, how am I preparing for my MFA? Good question!

 

1. I am writing about it (Thanks for reading).

 

2. Rubbing virtual shoulders with current students online; making friends I’m already excited to come face-to-face with during our step out of the virtual world and onto campus.

 

3. I’m trying to get other stuff done. Clean the office. Tie up the loose ends of projects. There’s a lot to accomplish before I can be worry free and enjoy my schooling (quiet down you who just called me a “keener.” It’s true but you don’t have to rub it in!).

 

4. Prep my family. My daughter knows I am going to be away. She’s intrigued by the idea of spending more time with her dad and grandparents and is over the moon about flying to Boston for a vacation when my classes are done. My baby, my sweet little unsuspecting guy – all I can do for him is pour endless hugs and kisses into every second of our time together. Hubby will be busy filling my beautifully expert mom shoes while I am gone so I’m not too worried about him. He won’t have time to miss me. I have informed my family that I will be an emotional mess of mommy love while away and that I’ll need constant encouragement to stay the course. All have been sufficiently warned.

MFA Lesley University Cambridge nail biting photograph copyright Alexis Marie Chute

And last and likely most importantly:

 

5. I’m trying to NOT think about it too much. As a writer with a constant flow of verbal commentary that quietly narrates my whole life, I’m avoiding psyching myself out. Especially as I have a graceful pull towards the dramatic, I can already imagine my inner monologue going something like this:

“Alexis Marie pushes her thick black glasses back into the groove of her nose, her eyes nearly as wide as her frames as she stares up at the tall buildings before her. She tugs at her shirt. ‘Damn it!’ she curses, hoping no one will notice her perspiration soaked underarms. ‘Day one as a grad student,’ she sighs as she searches her course schedule for the room number of her first class.

After a myriad of false starts and wrong doors, she finally sits amongst a group of people who lounge confidently, like seasoned academics, tweed coats and all. The first workshop member stands to read her work, a piece of writing about her childhood. ‘Oh crap,’ Alexis Marie’s shoulders slump. ‘This woman is describing herself as a rambunctious blond three year old… I miss my own rambunctious blond three year old back home. How am I going to get through this? I’ve been a grad student for 30 seconds!’ With subtlety so as not to draw attention, Alexis Marie slips her cell phone out of her bag and begins to search for the earliest flight back to Edmonton.”

 

And there you have it. That is why I do not want think too much about the wonderful/scary/exciting/nail-biting experience I am about to dive into. I know myself well. It really is better if I stay busy, remain focused on the immediate here and now – then one day, when I allow my consciousness to catch up with me, I’ll be like, “Wow, my residency has begun! I can totally do this!”

 

Until then, wish me luck!

MFA Lesley University Cambridge calendar pens photograph copyright Alexis Marie Chute

Poetry Reading Contest, Canadian Authors Association

The Canadian Authors Association held their Fourth Annual Let it Snow, Let it Grow Member Social at the beginning of March. The theme was a challenge to writers to pen a narrative poem or short story about what it means to grow. I entered the contest which entailed a public reading of my work at the event, held at The Carrot Community Arts Coffeehouse.

Reading my poetry at The Carrot Community Arts Coffeehouse for the Canadian Authors Association.

Reading my poetry at The Carrot Community Arts Coffeehouse for the Canadian Authors Association.

I was proud to be selected as a winner, along with fellow CAA board member Hendrik Slegtenhorst. The event was hosted by author Gail Sidonie Sobat.

Receiving  the contest award from Gail Sidonie Sobat, with fellow winner Hendrik Slegtenhorst (and my daughter who ran up to be in the picture).

Receiving the contest award from Gail Sidonie Sobat, with fellow winner Hendrik Slegtenhorst (and my daughter who ran up to be in the picture).

I am proud to be a board member of the Alberta Branch of the Canadian Authors Association. CAA is a wonderful organization with the mandate of “Writers Helping Writers.” It has been immensely encouraging for me to connect with other writers in an open environment of learning and support. If you are interested, please join us!

Accepted! I’m a MFA in Creative Writing student!

I will be walking in the footsteps of many great writers as I begin my Masters of Fine Art program in Cambridge Massachusetts. Just today I received the acceptance call from Lesley University to study creative non-fiction.

Being a multi-faceted artist is just who I am. I cannot be only a painter, or only a photographer, or only a writer. Every part of my creative expression serves to benefit and enrich the other parts. It has been my dream for so long to be a published writer. In the last year I have made huge headway with this dream by writing a memoir and two novels plus countless poems.

My acceptance into Lesley is a major milestone on my creative journey. This is a good day! A very, very good day!

Lesley’s campus is just footsteps from Harvard Square and minutes from Boston. It is my dream location of study! As a person who finds inspiration through travel and new locals, I am thrilled to continue my creative pursuits in this wonderful location! Lesley University has painted a beautiful picture of the culture in the city:

Boston is filled with fascinating nooks and crannies, some obvious and others that you will find for yourself. Think bookstores, used record stores, thrift shop nirvana. Newbury Street is lined with art galleries, European-style cafes, and boutiques. Additionally, there are many interesting and vibrant areas such as Chinatown, artsy Jamaica Plain and Brickbottom, and Portuguese and Brazilian neighborhoods found in Cambridge. Boston attracts some of the best, brightest, and most creative people in the world.

As a student of Creative Writing at Lesley University, I will:

–          Receive guidance from prize winning writers

–          Join the university’s accomplished alumni of published writers

–          Participate in residencies on campus in Cambridge

–          Be inspired in a major literary city and become a part-time citizen of that literary Mecca

My first memoir is about my pregnancy following the loss of my son Zachary. Now, in my MFA, I will embark on a new memoir which has been percolating in my mind and heart for the last year. I can’t wait!

Over the course of my MFA I will post about my experiences and keep you all up to date! This is an exciting chapter for me (yes, book pun intended).

I’d like to thank my amazing cheerleaders Daphne Read, Brenda Mann & Jody Stark. Thanks also to my family and friends for believing in me and my writing.

PRISM Non-Fiction Update

Unfortunately I was not chosen as a winner or runner up for the PRISM International Non-Fiction contest. I was feeling down when I received the news and medicated my state with brownies, fresh gooey brownies – which did help.

I shared this news with my friends on Facebook and was met with many congratulations for even making the short-list. One of my writing pals, Patty Ntihemuka, commented, “These could also be celebratory brownies.”

That’s right, Patty. We all need to celebrate how far we come, because often it is quite some distance. It is too easy to focus on how shy we are of the prize, whatever it may be.

I am thankful I entered, thankful for the opportunity and thankful for where I will go from here.

Short-listed!

My creative non-fiction piece has been short-listed for PRISM international 2013 Non-Fiction Contest!

This is such a super honor! When I posted yesterday about the schedule of when the winners would be announced, I was actually off by a day.

Today is the day!

At some point today I will get an email with either ‘Congratulations’ or otherwise – but no matter what, I am thankful and elated to have gotten this far.

My piece of writing is about my experience of attending my son Zachary’s memorial service.

I will post again later on the final verdict. Until then, I’ll be holding my breath…

PRISM international’s 2013 Non-Fiction Contest long-list

 

When I write, I create, edit, submit and forget. It’s a process that works since I am a super busy artist/photographer/writer/mom/wife/renaissance woman extraordinaire. The forgetting part is handy since I don’t waste time biting my nails wondering if I have a rejection letter city hopping its way to my mailbox.

PRISM International Magazine

So you can imagine I was wonderfully surprised to discover that my creative non-fiction piece, “Goodbye and Goodbyes” made it onto the long list of the PRISM international 2013 Non-Fiction Contest long-list. Wawsa! This news made me smile!

The long-list of 15 pieces of writing has been officially announced today. The short-list will be announced tomorrow, Tuesday January 15 and the grand prize winners and runners up the following day, Wednesday, January 16. It will be a whirlwind three days and I have already begun my nail biting now that the race is on. I may have no nails left by Wednesday but I can’t wait!

 

A little bit about PRISM International:

PRISM international is a quarterly magazine out of Vancouver, British Columbia, whose mandate is to publish the best in contemporary writing and translation from Canada and around the world.

 

The submissions for this competition go through two rounds of blind judging before the final verdict is decided by the final judge, Andreas Schroeder.

Here is the long-list finalists! Congratulations to all writers! What a feat! It is truly an accomplishment to get this far and I am thrilled to be listed amongst these fellow creatives.

– ‘Sans Everything’ by Cullene Bryant

– ‘An Excerpt from Horse Camp’ by Jonarno Lawson

– ‘Queasy’ by Madeline Sonik

– ‘Salt Spring Sprouts n Seeds’ by Stephanie McKechnie

– ‘When you finally know me’ by Trisha Cull

– ‘Nine Bouquets from Nine Sailors’ by Eve Joseph

– ‘People and Cow of Good Fortune’ by Leonard Neufeldt

– ‘I Thought I Knew You Emily’ by Madeline Nattrass

– ‘Click: Immortality’ by David Alexander

– ‘The Skeleton Coast’ by Zara Callmann

– ‘The Breaking Wave’ by Laura Trethewey

– ‘Habibi’ by Maisie Jacobson

– ‘Goodbye and Goodbyes’ by Alexis Marie Chute

– ‘Narrative Supplement’ by Carolyn White

– ‘Vanishing Point’ by Heather Tucker

 

I will put out another Writing Update on Tuesday and Wednesday to announce how the competition plays out!

Get Out of the Creative Desert

How do we replenish ourselves as artists? As writers? As creative human beings?

When our reserve of energy and inventiveness are depleted, when our desire for innovation and experimentation runs low and our passion for creative expression is a barren desert and we have nothing left to give: what then?

How do we revive these qualities in our lives so that ideas flow, inspiration rains and our creative selves flourish?

For myself, I have discovered that creativity breeds creativity. Art breeds art. Just as in life, kindness begets kindness and love multiplies itself in an environment of love.

I know all too well the desert of the artistic soul. It is the last place I want to be. Fortunately, by understanding that creativity begets creativity, I have enjoyed staying in the place of creative flow.

I find myself presently in a ramped up artistic season of my life. I am Artist in Residence at Harcourt House, have many exhibitions of my artwork (photography, sculpture, mixed media) upcoming and have recently completed a memoir, novella and am currently in the midst of writing a full length novel.

Arizona Desert Flowers
Photograph copyright Alexis Marie Chute

It is a good time. My mind is ripe with ideas. My writing inspires my artwork, my art incites poetry, my poetry evolves into my photographic practice. The love I feel from my clients (and their joy at receiving their portraits) creates a warm fuzzy feeling that keeps me chipper as I work in the isolation of my art studio or pound the keyboard writing during NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).

Creativity begetting even more creativity seems to be a magical state that I find myself within and it brings an artful mindset into every area of my life. It is as if I am not only an artist, period. Or a mother, period. Or a wife, period. I am an artist of all these things and they all play an important role.

I have come to believe that if you want to increase your creativity in an area where you are stuck (a.k.a. writer’s block or the equivalent for other artist types), try shifting gears and let the artist in you come out in some other fashion. I bet you will experience a breakthrough in not only the first area but both.

CREATIVITY BREEDS CREATIVITY

This is my goal and I am finding it wonderfully exciting. In every area of my life I am choosing to include my passions and challenging myself to be creative as an artist / writer / photographer / designer / mother / human being without boundaries.

The result: My life is now richer and riper with meaning.

Arizona Desert Flower
Photograph copyright Alexis Marie Chute

Writing Update

 

3 Day Novel Contest and NaNoWriMo

 

I spent the September long weekend locked in my office (with my newborn) writing a novel during the 3 Day Novel Contest. While others were outdoors enjoying the end of summer I worked three long days typing a full first draft of my debut novel. It’s a romance in essence but, as all good stories, is full of twists on the standard love story.

I loved the 3 Day Novel Contest so much that I have signed up for NaNoWriMo which stands for the National Novel Writing Month which begins today! November 1st! This time I am trying my hand at fantasy and am raring to go. My characters are coming to life in my mind and I am thrilled to tell their story. Stay up to date with my progress on twitter (@_Alexis_Marie). Stay up to date with my NaNoWriMo progress here on my Alexis Marie blog and on my Artist Reborn blog (where you can find my posts about my 3 Day Novel Experience).

 

 

I’ve Been Busy! Let me catch you up!

It has been a busy summer and fall is continuing this trend with lots of artistic goodies! Let me catch you up on the action!

 

My printer winning bicycle image of Bride Christina.

Photography Update: Photolife Magazine

 

Photolife printed one of my photographs in their August/September issue as a part of their Showtime theme: trees. In the same issue I was chosen as an “Emerging Photographer” for 2012. This is a huge honor! I was one in 15 Canadians selected for this distinction (and the only photographer selected from Alberta).

Then, in the October/November issue of Photolife Magazine I was the winner of the Showtime theme: Bicycles. The award: an Epson Artisan 837 printer.

 

This is one of the winning tree images selected by Photolife Magazine. This photograph was taken on a mountain in New Zealand.

Writing Update: Walk to Remember

 

On September 29, 2012 I was the keynote speaker at the Walk to Remember to a crowd of nearly 2,000 people who gathered to celebrate their dearly loved children lost due to miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant loss or SIDS. It was an emotional day as I was remembering my own sweet Zachary who died shortly after birth two years ago. The event organizers asked me to speak after reading my blog Wanted Chosen Planned. You can read my speech in my post: “Walk to Remember Speech by Alexis Marie Chute.”

 

With this fine art photograph I was named an Emerging Canadian Photographer by Photolife Magazine.

Writing Update: 3 Day Novel Contest and NaNoWriMo

 

I spent the September long weekend locked in my office (with my newborn) writing a novel during the 3 Day Novel Contest. While others were outdoors enjoying the end of summer I worked three long days typing a full first draft of my debut novel. It’s a romance in essence but, as all good stories, is full of twists on the standard love story.

I loved the 3 Day Novel Contest so much that I have signed up for NaNoWriMo which stands for the National Novel Writing Month which begins today! November 1st! This time I am trying my hand at fantasy and am raring to go. My characters are coming to life in my mind and I am thrilled to tell their story. Stay up to date with my progress on twitter (@_Alexis_Marie). Stay up to date with my NaNoWriMo progress here on my Alexis Marie blog and on my Artist Reborn blog (where you can find my posts about my 3 Day Novel Experience).

 

This is an example of my wood sculpture that I will be developing while Artist in Residence at Harcourt House.

Art Update: Harcourt house & Kiwanis Gallery

 

As of today, November 1st, I am the 2012/2013 Artist in Residence at Harcourt House artist run center here in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. This is a wonderful position for an artist as the gallery will support my artistic endeavors for a whole year. What does that mean in practical terms? I will have a private studio at Harcourt House while I develop my body of artwork, give me opportunity to teach and at the end of the year the gallery will host a solo exhibition of my work. My show will be installed next October and I will give an artist talk at the opening reception. Please contact me if you want an invite to the opening.

I recently got word from the Kiwanis Art Gallery in Red Deer, Alberta that they will be mounting a solo exhibition of my fine art photographs in their 2014-2015 line-up. The exhibition will feature images I took leading up to and following the death of my son Zachary. The images document the life of my family as we spend almost two months at the hospital trying to save my son and the devastation that follows his death. It is an emotional collection of photographs but one that speaks to the heart and the resilience of the heart. You can read about my experience at Wanted Chosen Planned and how I found art to be a tool for healing at Artist Reborn.